Bennett, You’re One.

November 30th, 2016

Dear My Greatest Joy,

Today marks a year from the first time I saw your beautiful face. A year from when I found my true purpose in life. A year from when you unveiled a place in my heart I never knew existed. And although this year has been far from easy. Although this year has been far from perfect. Every single messy, baffling, exhausting second has been worth it.

I never could have known that such a tiny human being would have so much to give me. You didn’t teach me how to love unconditionally, I learned that from your Father. But you taught me how to take love and impart it to others. You have strengthened the empathy in my soul. You have helped me find the moment. Before you, if I couldn’t sleep at 3:00 AM my mind would only be on the difficulty my restlessness would cause the next day. Before you, if I was sitting still, I would be searching for something to fill my mind. These reactions stemmed from fear and a place of competitiveness and greed. You showed me, sweet little one, when I would hold you during many of our 3:00 AM staring contests, that nothing else was and nothing else mattered. The only thing that existed was that moment. Moments that would never be more special than they are right now.

I also want to thank you for your patience. There were many days this year that weren’t exactly pretty. There were many times you saw me cry and heard me say something to the effect of “I can’t do this.” I am sorry for that. But like every skill, motherhood is an art that is always sculpted with growth and progress. And, my darling, look how far we’ve come.

So as we celebrate you on this very special day, a day you won’t be able to remember but will be engraved in me forever, know you are my light, and there is nothing I find more precious. Know that on this day, one year ago, my life was profoundly changed for the better. And know that I love you more than the four Greek words for love can describe, more than any poet or musician can pen or serenade, and more than I will ever be able to articulate to you in my lifetime.

Happy Birthday My Love and May All Life’s Wishes Come True,

Your Mama